Being rushed sucks! About 3 weeks ago, I had back-to-back meetings all day long and probably put a total of 225 miles on my car. The day started perfectly planned with breaks and the appropriate travel time built in. As with some perfectly laid plans, and despite my best intentions, eventually the whole day blew up and I was frantically rushing from one meeting to the next. By the time I arrived home, I was fried and exhausted. It’s a little embarrassing to admit that every once in a while I run late. Here are three tips that help me cope:
Take A Step Back
The chief aim of most of our time management articles is to give you tips that help you stay on track and run on time. However, running late is going to happen to all of us at one time or another. What do you do when it happens and how do you stay calm? For the record, I HATE running late. It doesn’t matter what it is, it could be a dinner date or meeting at the dock for a fishing trip. I especially hate being late for a client meeting. What has been most helpful for me is taking a few seconds to put the purpose of my meeting in perspective by asking myself one question – “How critical is this meeting to my success?”
Notice I didn’t say how important. Most meetings are important. Asking the question, “How critical is this meeting to my success?” might help bring your anxiety level down in some situations. If your answer to the question is “pretty low” as in the example of being at the dock on time, it might help you put things in perspective and relax a bit. However, what do you do if it’s a meeting with your boss for a performance review or that meeting with the big client? Those might be considered critical to your success. What then?
Tip# 1: Why am I freaking out about being late? Is the meeting critical to my success?
Slow Down And Be Present
In my frantic day example, I was running late to my next meeting and it was pretty critical. I was racked with stress and trying not to run red lights. The same level of anxiety can occur even when you are late for a meeting just down the hall. I needed to find a way to lower the heat in this pressure cooker I was creating. First, if at all possible, I let the person know I am running late. This shows that I acknowledge that their time is valuable and I am being mindful of their schedule. I give them an approximate time of arrival, (remembering to give myself a little more time than I need) and I accept they may reschedule the meeting.
When I arrive, I take a moment to slow down before I go into the meeting. Here is the actual ritual I use. I take a moment to write down on a clean sheet of paper whatever made me late. It could be a phone call that ran over, it could be that I was overly chatty, it could even be a family emergency. Whatever it is, I name it, and write it down. Symbolically, I look at it and then place it in a drawer if I’m at my desk or on the front seat if I’m in my car. Here is my thought behind this – the challenge or distraction will be waiting for me on that piece of paper and there it will sit, until I have the emotional energy and time to address it. The intention is to NOT take the “problem” with me into the meeting. Of course, in extreme cases this might not work and can even be emotionally unhealthy but in most cases it will. This has helped me be more present with someone, especially if I just received bad news. Next, I take note of how fast I am breathing. I close my eyes and I take no less than 10 deep breaths before I do anything. I open my eyes and look for anything that will ground me. Usually it’s noticing a bird in a tree or the design in the side of a building, anything that slows me down to acknowledge something in that moment. I calmly get out of my car put on a big smile and walk slowly, deliberately and with confidence into my meeting.
Tip# 2: If you are freaked out it’s going to show. Take a moment to take it slow.
Lifeline
I had a great 2:00 meeting, but I was still late for my final meeting. This one was by far my most important as it was with a new prospective client. I wanted to make a good a good first impression, and being 15 minutes late wasn’t helping (I did manage to let her know I was running late a good 2 hours before we met). I was hoping I could get that 15 minutes back during the day but that didn’t happen either. So, with everything going haywire and nothing else working, I decided to call someone that was a good friend and vent. I dialed him and went nuts and I got it all out. Luckily I got his voice mail and said something along the lines of… “I am completely stressed right now and the bolts are about to spin off my neck. I need to get this voodoo out of my head and clam down!” This was followed by some more gibberish. No, I’m not some crazy friend calling folks at random. He knows I will call him from time to time for the singular purpose of venting and I have given him permission to return the favor. It actually is quite funny and even comical at times because we intentionally make the call as absurd as possible in the hopes one of us laughs. Besides, anytime you can laugh it lowers blood pressure and puts you in a good mood. What better way to start your meeting?
Tip #3: Dial-Vent-Laugh. Repeat as necessary.
Just Saying No Could Have Saved The Whole Day
Most of what I shared is what I do when I am running late. I thought it would be valuable to also point out what ultimately started my whole conundrum. My day started off perfect. I had a great 8 a.m. meeting and I gave myself 20 minutes before my next one. I was calm, relaxed, and taking in the beautiful weather. Then the phone rang! “Chris, I know my schedule has been crazy but if you are in town and have a few minutes…I can see you at 9:30.” We have all been here; that meeting that falls out of the blue that you have been trying to get for weeks. I, like you, went with my first reaction- YES!!! That was my undoing!
The moment I said yes things started to unravel for me. First, I immediately put myself on the clock and I was trying like heck not to look at my watch during the conversation for fear of running late to my next meeting. I could feel my anxiety ratcheting up and it was distracting me. The second was how hard it was to stay focused in the conversation. I found myself trying to subconsciously rush through things and I wasn’t really listening to the person sitting across from me very well. That’s not really fair to the person meeting with me because I’m not giving them my undivided attention. Finally, because the meeting ran a little over and I used my wiggle room in my calendar for this last minute appointment, my whole day dominoed, resulting in me being late for the rest of my appointments! It all could have been prevented by saying one little word – no.
Bonus tip: Just say no! It helps you stick to your schedule and keeps you sane.
Because I teach time management people believe that I must be some super organized person that never runs late. I can assure you, I’m human, I screw up and not every day is a scheduling work of art. These three strategies have really helped me over the years and I have used them all in one day not too long ago. If you have some “peel me off the ceiling strategies,” I would love to hear about them. Post your most unique solution on our facebook page so others can benefit as well.
