A timeless tome in the library of self-help books everyone should read in their lifetime is Dale Carnegie’s 1936 classic, How To Win Friends & Influence People. In it, Carnegie outlined how to be successful in business and in life. Carnegie wrote, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
We all know that someone’s name is of utmost importance to them. So if you want to make a favorable impression, you shouldn’t screw it up. I often tell folks who I’m training that your credibility is being impacted with every face-to-face interaction you have with them. Obviously you want to build trust and deepen the connection with others, so remembering names is just one way to enhance your own credibility. Mr. Carnegie made a similar argument by pointing out, “Using a person’s name is crucial, especially when meeting those we don’t see very often. Respect and acceptance stem from simple acts such as remembering a person’s name and using it whenever appropriate.”
But have you ever been introduced to someone and two minutes later you can’t remember her name? It happens to most of us. What I hear more often than not is the excuse, “I’m terrible at remembering names.” That admission is your first mistake. By rationalizing your poor memory, you give yourself a reason to reaffirm your own limiting belief – the fact that you can’t remember names – and your bad habit continues. If you think about “not remembering names” as a way of dis-respecting others, would you be more interested in improving your name-remembering skills?
Here are seven useful tips designed to help you remember someone’s name after you’ve been introduced. Practice them and you’ll find your credibility soar.
- Slow Down And Concentrate – So often, we don’t remember a person’s name because we are so worried about what we are going to say next, that we aren’t focusing on the introduction. Always concentrate on their name and not what you are going to say. Slow down and really give the other person your full attention. If you have practiced your introduction and have some conversation starters ready, you won’t need to worry about what comes next.
- Ask Yourself What His or Her Name Is – People are very good at remembering information as long as it memorized as the answer to a question. Once someone says his name to you, ask yourself (silently, not out loud), “What is his name?” and repeat the answer to yourself. After you’ve left his company, look across the room and ask yourself again what his name is. The answer will pop into your head.
- Repeat His or Her Name – There are a few reasons why you want to repeat someone’s name. First, it will reinforce their name to you and help you remember it. Second, their name is music to their ears, so they’ll enjoy the sound of it. Third, other people don’t generally do this, so you will stand out to the person you just met.
- Keep Your Energy High – Your tone of voice and body language are important to show the other person that you are interested and fully engaged. Act as if that person is the “most important person” in the world to you, because at that moment they should be. Your energy and focus will make your intent on remembering their name that much easier.
- Look For A Personal Connection – If someone shares the same name of someone you know and love, you may want to make that connection. “Oh, Tom’s my husband’s name also.”
- Visualize A Picture – If it helps, you may want to do some word association games. If you can link a word with a picture, it will help you remember the name. For example, if you meet someone named Arthur, you may picture King Arthur, Knight of the Roundtable.
- Ask The Person To Spell His Or Her Name – If the person’s name is unusual or if it can be spelled multiple ways; ask them how they spell their name. You may want to correspond with them in the future and you certainly don’t want to misspell their name. “Is that Kathy with a ‘K’ or a ‘C’?” The other person will be flattered that you cared enough to ask. Related to this is getting someone to repeat their name immediately after they introduce themselves if you didn’t hear it clearly. Better now, than missing the opportunity altogether.
