Earlier this week, I was out with two of my friends on our morning run. At one point, Cheryl and I were running side by side as our other friend pulled up the rear. Cheryl had attended my “How To Have A Kick-Ass Life Now!” workshop a couple days earlier and had commented that some of the things that she wrote down in one of the exercises really surprised her. I wanted to use this “alone” time to dig a bit deeper. I knew that her perception of herself was not at all what others had of her. Like many women, Cheryl, was too hard on herself and didn’t give herself enough credit for all she did.
So I asked her, “Do you know how amazing you are?” She said “No.” And then she proceeded to tell me all the reasons why. And even though she recognized the selfless things she did for others – for her friends, family and church – she didn’t feel like it was ever enough. I shared my perception from what I knew to counter her view. Later, as Janice joined our stride, I asked Janice to describe Cheryl in one word. Without hesitation, Janice said “angel.”
Then Janice proceeded to share how Cheryl was so giving and supportive…how she was always there for others. I turned to Cheryl and said, “See, you’re an amazing angel.” Not bad for someone who falsely feels they aren’t doing enough. I could tell that Cheryl’s gait got a bit lighter at that moment. She got some unsolicited feedback that contradicted her belief and view of herself and reinforced a deeper truth that was clear to others.
Learning to receive and appreciate what others admire about you is a gift you should give yourself. Take it in without judgement. Do not discount or deny what others share. Let your body, heart and mind receive it openly.
Give the same to others. Sit down with a friend and share something you appreciate or admire the most about them. Share your words and simply ask them to take it in. And then watch the bond and connection that you forge strengthen. Embrace the deeper truths and enjoy a sense of gratitude that your friendship provides each of you.
