The more I learn, the more I’m amazed at how most folks beat themselves up and limit their own success, often without realizing they are their own worst enemy. They are often stuck in a “woe-is-me” mentality that keeps them working harder and harder to make ends meet. I should know, I used to be one of them.
I used to actually pride myself for being the first one in the office and the last one to leave. Like that was some badge of honor…a real display of my commitment, discipline and sacrifice. Boy was I naive. I’ve since come to realize that putting in more hours doesn’t make you more successful or happier. And it certainly does not give you the kind of life that I wanted to create for myself. So I don’t work nearly as long as I used to and I am far choosier in the projects and work that I do now. I’ve also created some systems and processes (probably one of my strongest skills) to give me much more control of my time and my life.
To that point, it’s not even mid-June and I’ve taken over two and half months of time off this year. And when I do work, it’s rare that I put in an eight-hour day or a five-day work-week.
Because others have made comments to me about wanting to have “my life,” I decided to take what I do and break it down into bite-sized steps for others to follow. So if someone wanted to work less and enjoy life more, they could learn from what I’ve discovered over the years.
Now, I recognize that everyone has different demands and my system works best for those entrepreneurs, small business owners and independent types who have complete control over their schedules. But I also know from the experience of others using the system, that it works great in a corporate setting as well, even when you’re not the one calling the shots. In fact, I haven’t met anyone who used my system that didn’t rave about how it changed his life.
So recently, I created a program that broke down my proven Life-Balance Time Management System into 20-minute weekly lessons. The rationale for this being that time-starved people will struggle if you overload them with the entire system at once. By creating incremental steps that build on themselves, a week at a time, I could also incorporate a process for application and integration. In other words, people could take a lesson, wrap their head around it, implement it and then add the next building block to the model.
When I initially offered the program to a select group of friends and contacts, the response was pretty strong. I quickly filled a class and was gratified by comments like,“Thanks so much, this is exactly what I need.”
Despite the initial enthusiasm, within the first couple weeks into a six-week program, most of the participants had fallen by the wayside. They simply were not willing or able to carve out 20 minutes or more a week to listen and then apply the lesson. Of course, the wayward were full of excuses. The irony of it was that all of their excuses tied back to the reason why they wanted to take the program in the first place – because they struggled with getting everything done and didn’t have “enough time.”
My favorite was, “I’m too busy right now and don’t have time to put new processes in place.” Are you kidding me? You can’t implement some simple changes that will save you hours and hours every week because you don’t have time?
I should be happy. They paid me. I delivered what I promised. And the ones who took advantage of the program are raving fans. But I’m haunted by the ones who failed, the ones who desperately need to implement and are not taking advantage of what was offered because of all the excuses they have manufactured for themselves.
To me, after lots of reflection and a bit of digging deeper with the participants, it comes down to a couple of key observations:
- Wanting to change is not enough. Desire is important, but the commitment has to be there. And it has to be unwavering. You have to decide, I’m going to do this and stick to it.
- It ties into your beliefs. If you believe that you stink at time management (or anything else for that matter), you will probably find ways to prove yourself right, even if it sabotages your own success. You will confirm your long-held beliefs by making sure they come true. That’s why we see patterns on long-standing beliefs and habits remain intact even when they’re no longer in our best interests. We are definitely creatures of habit, even when those habits no longer serve us.
So before you embark on something new, ask yourself, “Am I ready to do what I need to do to implement and embrace a new and different way of doing things?” If you are, how committed are you to doing it. On a scale from 1-10, how would you rate your commitment level? If it’s anything less than a 10, you need to reevaluate your objective or your commitment level.
Finally, ask yourself, “What beliefs do I have that may hold me back or limit my success in this specific area? And do those beliefs hold up to scrutiny? Can I find evidence to refute or challenge those beliefs? If so, can I adopt new beliefs that will be in alignment with where I want to go?”
