Have you ever met a person that’s just not like the rest of us? People say things about them like; “That person is so dialed-in,” ”She is just awesome,” “He just gets me,” “I instantly connected with her,” “I would definitely do business with him”… the list goes on and on. What makes these people so different? What is that “something” that they have that we don’t?
I met a person over 15 years ago, I’ll just refer to him as “Rusty.” He was in his early 60’s but looked no older than 45. His disposition was laid back and warm. He had wispy white hair and always had a smile on his face. What drew me to Rusty was how he interacted with people. He saw things in others and me that I didn’t. He gave words of encouragement when I should have. He noticed things I missed and never said a bad thing about another human being. Eventually this kind man took me under his wing. I was not sure why because at the time I was quite the project; young, bull-headed, eager and very arrogant!
Rusty was a consultant (still is by the way) and worked for a telecommunications company for over 30 years in New York. He ran the HR department and specialized in leadership development. One day he decided to quit and go out on his own and within months had over a dozen fortune 500 clients. That was his pedigree but there were a few things about how he acted that really caught my attention.
- His eyes were steel blue and looked right back into yours when you spoke.
- He always listened intently to every word ever spoken to him.
- His smile was always genuine and broad.
- He always asked about your family before talking business.
- He always belly laughed, not a snicker, but a good howling laugh.
- He always acted as a host no matter where we were.
- He NEVER spoke ill about anyone.
- He loved his wife and his children and grandchildren and spoke about them often.
- He volunteered in his community during almost all of his free time.
- He tried something new every day.
- He loved to listen to stories and tall tales (He spun a few himself).
- He always pointed out the up-side in any situation.
- He had the patience of a saint.
- He shared everything he knew with anyone who wanted to learn from him.
- He was willing to learn from anyone willing to teach him.
- Everyone genuinely loved Rusty, I mean everyone.
I noticed clients would clamor for this guy and I couldn’t get enough of him either so it just made since to hire him when I ran one of my first businesses. That was when I made one of the best decisions I ever made, I chose him to be my first real mentor. When I look back at my relationship with Rusty, I leaned so much for him, however, I couldn’t put my finger on what made Rusty so unusual. Then it dawned on me, Rusty never was anything but Rusty around me or anyone else for that matter. He was the first truly authentic person I had met and I wanted to be like him.
The traits in the list above are all real, there might be a few nuggets if you want to go back and read through it again. Rusty is a real person and he still lives his life the same way and now he is in his late 70’s. A year or two ago, I decided I no longer wanted to be like him, I wanted something greater , I wanted to start living like him and it has changed my life. Maybe you want to be a mentor, maybe you are looking for that perfect career opportunity, impress that high-dollar client, or maybe there is a piece of “something” that is missing in you. I’m not sure I will ever be as good as a person as Rusty but my advice, how awesome would it be to have a life and a career like Rusty’s, where you are successful and everyone loves you. All you have to do is start simple and be deliberate.
His secret, just be the best person you always wanted to be and start now. Most importantly, who cares what everyone else thinks!
