I got the call from my 25 year-old daughter last Thursday. “Dad, do you have some time?” I immediately closed the client presentation I was working on and replied, “Of course kiddo, what do you need?”
“Mom wants me to give the eulogy at grandma’s (her maternal grandmother and my ex-mother-in-law) funeral on Saturday. And I don’t know what to say. Since you did such a good job at Grandpa Turner’s funeral, I figured you might have some suggestions.” And so the conversation went…I gave some pretty practical advice on how to get started. And emphasized the need to speak from the heart.
The conversation got me thinking. How easy or hard would it be for someone else to write your eulogy? How do you take a life and condense it down to a few minutes?
For those of you who read my musings, you know that I’m a big advocate of living boldly. In fact, I recently wrote an article, “21 Ways To Live An ‘Inspired’ Life.” I’m convinced that living boldly is a way to inspire others, because far too many of us shelf our boldness in an effort to just fit in and get by.
I recognize that it’s not just about living boldly however. In the case of my daughter’s grandmother, there were no stories of bungee jumping over canyons, skydiving with abandon, or riding on a bull named Fu Manchu.
Sometimes having a meaningful and impactful life is about the special moments you share with someone. The times when you are giving, caring, supporting and loving. It could be a walk in the park with your grandchild, an openness to have a vulnerable conversation, or a hug that says more than words can express.
As my daughter was lamenting that she didn’t want her eulogy to sound like it could be written for just any grandma, she pulled out a box of old letters and cards she had saved. There were several from her grandmother. The meaning of the words on the paper seemed more important now. The advice and love seemed to jump off the pages.
It’s something most of us don’t do very well or very often. Perhaps this can be a good reminder. Sit down and write a letter or send a card with a personal message to a loved one. No special occasion needed; just a heartfelt desire to share your love.
While you’re at it, take the time to have those powerful conversations. Go the extra mile to be the friend you want to be. Or go live boldly and show through your actions that life starts outside your comfort zone.
Regardless, don’t wait until someone has to write your eulogy to live a life that has the power to impact others.
Final Note: After reading my daughter’s eulogy, I know her grandmother would be proud. A life well-spent indeed. RIP Grandma Greer.
