That’s a doozy of a question straight out of the box. What does that mean – “who” will you be? I know I used to think about “where” I wanted to be in life but rarely “who.” Some of us are quite happy with our lives and don’t want to change anything about it. Others – not so much. Here is an interesting way to look at your own trajectory by exploring what you are doing and who you are becoming (or not becoming).
Is How You Think A Habit?
Regardless of whether the situation involves money, marriage, career, or health and fitness, how you think is a powerful habit that strongly influences what you do. For example, if you are in the habit of thinking, “I’m always in a horrible relationship,” “I’m always bad with my money,” “I’m never going to be truly successful,” “I never have time to work out” chances are you’re right. Your actions are influenced by your thoughts. The same is true if you think, “I’m in a great relationship,” “I’m always saving a little money here and there,” “My big shot is right around the corner,” and “Even 10 minutes is enough to get in some sort of workout.”
If you want to change your situation, the first step is to change your thinking. What is your perception of your thinking habits and their impact on “who” you will be in 5 years? If you are up to it, here are a few things to consider:
- Identify three habits in the way you think.
- Ask yourself, “How has thinking this way served me?” In other words, look for evidence of where thinking this way has propelled you forward. Conversely, look for evidence of where thinking this way has held you back.
- What changes (if any) would you like to make in the way you think that could have an impact on “who you will be” in 5 years?
What Do I Feed Myself?
The concept of “you are what you eat” is a pretty simple one. If you put your body on a steady diet of fast food, candy, and soft drinks, how do you think your body will respond? The answer is, there will probably be more of you around – and not in a good way. Chances are, you won’t be around as long either. It’s cause: bad diet, and effect: bad health.
The same concept applies to other things you ingest as well. Think about what you put into your mind on a daily basis through your ears and eyes. What type of radio do you listen to, what movies and TV shows do you typically watch, what type of books do you read, what types of conversations do you really get into? If you enjoy a steady diet of angry talk radio, movies with twisted dark plots, magazines that are full of damaging gossip and catty conversations, might it affect your mood and outlook in a negative way? Chances are that it would. Let’s go back to the healthy diet analogy. If your diet is healthy most of the time, is it OK to have an occasional piece of candy? Absolutely! The same goes for what you consistently listen to, read, and watch. I’m not saying plug your ears, wear a blindfold and only show interest in all that is wholesome. Then you would have to bury your head in the sand about current events. I am suggesting you build some awareness about what you are feeding your mind and see if there is room for improvement in your “diet,” especially if you want to change an aspect of your life. Are there opportunities to watch and listen to things that are truly beneficial to you? Here are a few questions that might help:
- What 3 things do you habitually read, watch, or listen to more than 30 minutes a day?
- What’s your perception of how these may be affecting your outlook on your life or career?
- What is something that you can read or watch for 30 minutes a few times a week that might improve your outlook on your life or career?
- How might this change affect “who you will be” in 5 years?
Who Is In Your Circle, And What Are They Doing To You?
WARNING: this will require you to do a little soul-searching. To stick to our theme here, take a look at who you spend time with at work and outside of work. Who are your mentors and closest friends? What are they feeding you? When I first did this exercise, it was very tough. I have friends and mentors that I have known for decades. I like them for a reason! They can’t possibly have a negative impact on where I want to go, let alone who I am. I idealized one mentor in particular when I was younger. I learned from her to practice, practice, practice 10,0000 times to achieve proficiency, to learn from folks that know more than you , and that to achieve what you want, you sometimes have to let go of your plan and embrace someone else’s. All great stuff! After a few years, however, I began to reevaluate what I was really learning from her. I came to realize she was a very negative person and I rarely had a conversation with her without her pointing out everything that was “wrong” about someone. Was this starting to affect me? Was I becoming negative and catty? The short answer was, yes. People tend to mirror those they associate with, and I was becoming just as judgmental and unkind to people as she was.
Here are some questions to help you evaluate what your relationships are feeding you:
- What positive traits do I think I pick up from my friends and mentors?
- What negative traits do I think I pick up from my friends and mentors?
- Think of a person that you admire and would love to meet. Would you like to meet their friends and mentors? Would they like to meet yours?
- What changes (if any) would you like to make in who you associate with, that could have a positive effect on “who you will be” in 5 years?
Now What? Exercise!
Some of us are happy the way we are. We’re happy with what we have achieved, and feel truly fulfilled. I personally don’t think I’m there yet. I still have some work to do. Here is a simple exercise that has helped me:
Go find three successful people. These should be folks you perceive to be not only successful in their careers, but happy and fulfilled in their lives as well. Ask them three simple questions:
- What was the biggest change you made in the way you think that influenced your success?
- What recent books, movies or presentations have made the biggest impact on your life?
- Who have you met recently that has had the most positive effect on you?
I wonder what would happen if you changed just a little in how you think, what you ingest, and who you have in your closest circle of influence. I wonder how that might impact who you will be in 5 years or even sooner.
