My daughter celebrated her 3rd birthday this week. It was a blast watching her play with all her cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. After she sacked-out unusually early for the evening (undoubtedly due to a birthday cake sugar crash), I had the opportunity to quietly lie in my own bed and reflect on how much she’s changed over these three years. As I was cataloging the big life events—teething, talking, walking, her first major tantrum, etc., an unusual thought crossed my mind: I wondered what my daughter has been teaching me about business. (I guess it’s not that unusual; I’m always thinking about business.)
So here are some of the wise words from my daughter, Logan.
1) “NO! Let me put on the Y-ELL-OW socks, Daddy!”
Whenever Logan throws a full-blown tantrum, the content might vary, but the underlying issue is always the same: She’s not getting her way. She’s not getting what she wants. (Grown-ups who act this way are called control freaks.)
Every once in a while, Logan does manage to exert some control over her world, but more times than not, everyone (including Mom, Dad, Pre-school Teacher, and Grammie) is attempting to control every aspect of her life—when she gets up, where she goes, what she eats, what she’s going to wear, etc.)
Recently, we had a major tug-of war over her wardrobe du jour. The simple act of getting her dressed in a skirt and leggings, and putting barrettes in her hair was about as arduous as trying to stuff a contorting cat into a sock. The whole ordeal came to a grinding halt, however, once she uttered the phrase, “NO! Let me put on the Y-ELL-OW socks, Daddy!”
You can’t imagine the look of glee on her face later that day as she skipped around in her bright yellow socks on her way to pre-school.
What she is teaching me:
When I catch myself getting pissed off about something out of my control in my world, (like when a payment from a client is two weeks overdue, or when some logistical time snag makes me late for a speaking engagement), it takes me a few minutes to cool off. When I eventually calm down, I focus on my version of the yellow sock—i.e. the part of the issue that is in my control, (like my attitude when I walk in to the conference room) rather than ruminating about being late. This is an invaluable lesson, and a reminder to stop wasting valuable time and energy on a situation that is largely out of my hands.
2) “Peanut butter and jelly please.”
Most kids like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and my child is no exception—morning, noon and night. It’s absolutely my go-to remedy for her finicky or explosive eating moments. PB&J is standard fare for American children, but there’s more to it than a fast and simple snack. For Logan, and I’m sure this is true for countless other children, it represents a sense of reliability and comfort—and once she gets it, all is right with the world.
What she is teaching me:
I was working especially hard over the last few weeks and was having trouble focusing for any length of time. I was becoming increasingly impatient, catching myself being more irritable towards my family members and even a few clients—and Logan reminded me I was way overdue for my own version of a PB&J.
I get a lot out of walking the woods—even if for only five minutes. I am fortunate to live close to a wooded area and no matter how sideways my days get, when I returned to walking in the woods, it immediately calms me down and help me feel centered and focused!
3) “Look Daddy, I draw a fishing pole for you.”
Logan and I love drawing together in her coloring books, and she has no problem coloring outside of the lines. What’s uncanny is watching her create new, random objects out of every stray mark she makes outside of the lines. She creates new animals, new people, and even random items like a fishing pole.
What she is teaching me:
I often have a clearly-defined idea of how I want to tackle a project. I’ll start by drawing a mental picture in my mind, jotting down an action plan and creating a system of execution—my own version of a coloring book with lines that are to be filled in. When something doesn’t go according to plan, I tend to view it as a significant “error” on my part, and then attempt to bend the blunder to fit back into my plan. Logan reminded me that day to get in the habit of looking for a creative opportunity presenting itself and running with it, rather than immediately falling into the mindset of needing to fix the “problem” of having gone outside the lines.
4) “Now I read to you Daddy.”
Every day, without exception, Logan wants me to read a book to her, but recently, she has begun reading to me. If she could actually read the words on the page, I would be applying for a scholarship on her behalf at this moment—not writing this article. What she is really doing is making up her own stories based on the pictures in the book. What I have noticed every time she “reads” to me, her imagination is growing, and her storytelling skills are getting better.
What she is teaching me:
There was a time in my life when I read a book on business and success every three weeks, and if I didn’t have time to actually read, I’d download the latest top sellers audio version, pop in my head phones, and off I’d go. When I was doing this regularly, there was a noticeable difference in my business growth and how well I was coaching my clients.
Then Logan came along, and all my spare time disappeared. I was lucky if I managed to squeeze in three books a year! However, if Logan can manage to read to me once a day, I think Daddy can manage to get back up on the Reading Horse himself. I’m happy to report I’m not quite back to one book every three weeks, but I’m getting close, and I can already see another boost of improvement with my clients and business ideas.
5) “I play left and right with Maegan. Come, I show you again.”
I’ve been trying to teach Logan her right from her left for months—to no avail. One morning, recently, out of nowhere, she grasps my right hand and says, “Point with you right finger Daddy” showing me with her little finger. “Good Daddy! Now you point with you left.” She concluded her lesson by giving me a huge grin—pleased with my flawless execution due to her impeccable instructions.
After five minutes of utter amazement, I asked her if she learned that in school. She answered by saying, “I play left and right with Maegan. Come I show you again.”
What she is teaching me:
I noticed I’ve been stuck in teacher / consultant role for the better part of this year. It wasn’t until this little jewel of an experience that I realized I hadn’t met with my mastermind group for a long time because “I’ve been too busy.” I called a member of our group and asked if I was still welcome.
Logan reminded me that peer support has many benefits. Not only does it provide outside perspectives, it also forces you to learn and try new things—expanding your horizons. Logan and Maegan (her playmate) are a testament to the power of a peer-driven mastermind group (or at least a tot-mind group) and its effect on growth and development.
I could go on and about how this little girl has changed and enriched my life as I knew she would, but I never expected she would also have an impact on me professionally.
With only a few words to draw on from her relatively-small vocabulary, she’s like a business sage in my midst, reminding me all the time that no matter how old and wise Daddy might be, there are always more lessons to be learned—and they’re right there in front of me—all the time. All I need to do is slow down and pay attention…and learn.
(I wonder if I’ll be as open to Logan’s sage advice when she’s a teenager. Hmmmmm…)
