I struggle with slowing down. In fact, I tend to operate at a 5,000 miles an hour pace. Then throw in the holidays and I become a bona fide runaway garbage truck of “I got to get it all done.” For me, it started in September.
I was thinking, “Hey, it’s September and I’ve got time. I mean, after all, I have MONTHS before the November holiday rush starts.” And now – its November, oh no… its here already. I gotta do this, I gotta get that done, I have to do this for Aunt Mary and I have to help John with his project. The end of the year workload crunch is ramping up and the looming holiday parties that I don’t really want to attend (please don’t tell my wife) … 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 …. Blast off, I am on my way to a ballistic fast-paced crazy holiday.
As I mentioned before, slowing down is not a natural strength of mine. My wife sometimes has to pull me aside, especially during the holidays, and point out how wound up I am. Even then I still keep going wide open. I wanted to share three things that have really helped me… maybe they will help you as well.
1. This holiday season – give yourself the gift of you.
It seems nuts to think that during the upcoming holidays; a season dedicated to being grateful, thankful and giving, that it would be acceptable to spend any time thinking about myself. Then someone asked me a great question, “How would giving myself permission to do so change things?” If all of my emotional energy is going out to my clients, my family and my friends, what does that leave me with?
The short answer (at least for me) is next to nothing and the feeling of being pretty fried. I wondered how much more patient, kind, energized, and warm I could potentially be if I took a little time to recharge my batteries and let that emotional reservoir fill back up. I now block a least an hour in my calendar a few times a week to do a some things to recharge my mind and spirit. Things like taking a brisk walk or working out, reading a book, talking to old friends, even taking a hot bath. (Yes! Even guys appreciate a good hot bath.) It doesn’t matter how elaborate or simple it is just as long as it is quality “me time” and on my terms. I shared the idea with my wife and she liked it so much that she is doing it too! Now we both “get” that we need some quality alone time- bonus!
2. Talk to yourself
This is a fun activity to do when no one is looking and even more if someone is, especially if you want to get a few “Who is the crazy person?” looks. I pick a time during the day at random. It could be on a walk to a meeting, before lunch, in the car or right before I brush my teeth. For five minutes, I take in everything around me in vivid detail and discuss it with myself in a narrative out loud. (Sounds crazy but if you do it when no one is looking its kinda fun and, after all, you can’t be wound up if you are having a little fun.) For those of you less adventurous, do the exercise in your head and really dial into your five senses.
For example:
I’m walking on a brown and grey sidewalk on a beautiful November day. It’s 70 degrees out and the sun is warmly hitting me on my face. There is a gentle swirl of wind that has picked up four leaves; one red, one orange, one yellow, and one brown. I can smell the coffee… Wow! That’s hot and I just burned the sh*t out of my lip……
This simple act of verbalizing everything helps with being mindful and giving me the experience of living life in that moment. It is so liberating and wonderful to not stress about things that I need to do or things that didn’t go so well prior to that moment. If someone were to take my blood pressure, it probably has dropped a bit. The wild thing is how sharp my mind is just after the exercise. The first time I intentionally did it, I was more focused that I have been in a long time!
3. Journal with perspective and gratitude
Back in the day, I thought journaling was the biggest was of time. Recapping events at the end of the day sounded more like a “captains log” and a chore to me. However, if I can do anything in 5 minutes or less, I’m all about it. Now when I journal it has to follow three rules; it can’t take a lot of time, it has to calm me and I want to end it on a good note. I keep a little notebook next to my night stand and I answer the following things before I go to sleep:
What was something today that caused me to think “WOW! That person is having a bad day.”
What was part of my day that went better than that “other” person’s?
What was hands-down the best part of my day?
The 3 things I am most grateful for at this exact moment?
The 3 things I am really looking forward to doing tomorrow?
Bang – Five minutes or less as promised. I’m happy to report this stuff has a huge impact on my outlook in general and even helps me sleep better at night. I would also be a stone faced liar if I said I did this every day. I can say, however, that even doing it a few times a week has had a profound impact on my life. I wanted to share all of this in the hopes that you to could avoid getting wound up like I do during the holidays but most of all I hope it helps you truly get the most out of them.
