My wife and I traveled back home from spending the Thanksgiving holiday last week in Georgia. As we were talking on our ride, we stumbled on a question; “What do you think the biggest challenge is for folks this time of year?” Our perception was that most folks (including us) have a challenge of eating some types of food in moderation or staying away from them all together. For my wife, it is dark chocolate. After much debate and a few “Yes, you do honey,” my biggest weakness, hands down, was determined to be brownies. While I’m no health and fitness guru, my wife is; so we put our heads together and came up with a few strategies to help you curb your cravings.
Identify Your Loop
Cravings can be part of a habit. A habit, or habit loop rather, is broken down into three basic parts: the trigger, the routine and the reward. Let’s take my “brownie” problem. The trigger that starts my uncontrollable craving for half a pan of that gooey chocolaty goodness is the moment right after I finish a savory meal.
This triggers my routine. My routine is to automatically look around to see if we have the necessary ingredients to whip up a batch, or even going so far as to drive to the grocery store so we (well, I) can get my hands on some…and fast. Once I do, I can’t just eat one or even two. It’s sometimes five or six.
My reward for eating the brownie? This one is easy; it’s to satisfy a very surly sweet tooth.
Apples For Brownies! Really?
In this case my “routine” is the behavior of eating half a pan of brownies. In order to change my behavior, I must first build some awareness of my trigger. That’s easy because I usually ask my wife if she wants some brownies too. She usually responds by saying “Do you really want those?” Once I notice my trigger, I change my behavior by substituting those brownies for a healthy and very sweet desert. It ‘s usually something as simple as slow roasted apples and pears with a touch of nutmeg and cinnamon. My reward is the same, satisfying that unruly sweet tooth of mine. This is a much healthier alternative and I can have it with the meal and not even have to wait for desert!
Be Specific To Beat The Cheat
It’s easy to state some arbitrary boundaries about what you will and won’t eat such as “I will only eat chocolate once a day.” It sounds noble but we are all human and I personally love to implement creative problem-solving strategies to obtain the things I really want and I readily justify those actions. In plain English – sometimes I will allow myself to “cheat” even on the rules I impose on myself because, hey, chocolate never killed anybody right? To prevent this, my wife has a great and simple strategy. She sets very specific boundaries. Here is her example. She will only eat up to two small pieces of pre-packaged dark chocolate after lunch. It is that specific because she is far less likely to give herself any wiggle room. It is very clear when and how much chocolate she can consume with very little room for creative interpretation. If she just said, “I will have chocolate once a day.” She can easily justify her “cheat” by having 10 pieces all at once…or better yet, she could have 3 pieces during daylight hours and 9 after dark. (I don’t know that she actually would do this, but I can’t say the same about myself.)
Beware Of The Reindeers
What do reindeers have to do with anything? What was in those brownies Chris? Actually, if I told you to do anything BUT think about a reindeer for the next five minutes, what do you think would happen? For most of us, you would do everything in your power not to think about it. Amazingly the opposite happens and you find yourself constantly thinking about that damn deer. The same applies to gaining a little willpower over a craving. My wife and I don’t try to ignore our chocolate craving, which would just make it worse. Instead, we acknowledge that we have that craving, recognize it, and let the craving pass just like a wave. If it gets a little overwhelming, we substitute our bad habit for a good one (like the brownie for apples example). Again, a key first step to gaining more willpower and changing a habit is as simple as creating awareness by noticing when the urge or craving happens. Then take a moment to stop and think about what you want to do next.
Tell Someone
Just like I give my wife permission to call me out on my brownie problem, I do the same for her with dark chocolates. Choose someone that is you biggest fan and truly wants to help you succeed. My wife and I do this in other parts of our relationship as well. It has helped us stick to other good habits like working out, making a date night and so on. Think of it as an accountability partnership.
Considering the onslaught of food and other willpower challenges that are headed our way over the next month or so, we thought these strategies might help. One last thing we would like to impart. It’s important to also realize it is easy to say, “what the heck” when we think we have failed or it’s just too difficult to do something. Instead of beating ourselves up, or even worse giving up all together, my wife and I give ourselves permission to say “Its ok that I fell off the horse today. I can get right back up today too.”
Now bring on that chocolate!
