One’s mindset and thoughts are interrelated, and they have an enormous impact on your overall outlook, and consequently, on your actions. Your perception of how things used to be or how they will be in the future also has the power to influence the way you evaluate your progress NOW.
I recently had a conversation with a client who was utterly frustrated for a number of reasons: Her business wasn’t coming together as fast as she wanted, she wasn’t able to spend enough time with her family, and a life-altering heath issue was sapping her energy. She was accustomed to working hard and getting amazing results, but things were different now, and from her perspective, it seemed as though she wasn’t getting anywhere. During our conversations, three things came up that helped unlock her head so she could start enjoying her work and her life again.
The dark side of goal setting
Aspirations and goals are great for getting you where you want to go, but there can be a side effect associated with becoming overly-focused on a goal. For example, one of my clients (whom I will call Carol in this post) recently expressed a desire to adopt a more positive attitude, to roll with the punches, to be more hopeful overall, and to integrate her recent life challenges into how she works, rather than gripe about them.
She was off to a great start, coming to work feeling optimistic, and using that positive attitude to fuel her productivity during her day. She began envisioning a future for herself– one in which she felt energized, had a full client load, and plenty of time for her husband and child. In and of themselves, these are wonderful goals, of course– but Carol became laser focused on these goals, telling herself: “If I just put my head down and work hard for the next 5 years, I’ll end up exactly where I want to be. So that’s where I’m placing my focus– in the future.”
I, myself, have often fallen into this type of thinking– and it’s easy enough to do. It starts by simply adopting a positive attitude about where you are and where you’re headed, but it has the potential to insidiously morph into an obsession with working harder and putting in exorbitant hours. You start seeing the fruits of your labors, and you find yourself passing more and more milestones– all of which are desirable results– but this “tomorrow type thinking” can inadvertently trigger the inclination to push even harder, keeping your eye on a future prize. For all intents and purposes, you are missing your life NOW by focusing ONLY on the future, losing sight of any number of extraordinary things happening in the present moment. In terms of business, you might even walk past a great opportunity staring you in the face because you think it’s not in line with your future goal.
Tips: Setting goals is part of the journey; it’s NOT the destination. Check in periodically with your goals to make sure they’re still in line with present opportunities and challenges, and modify them, if appropriate. Also, take time to slow down EVERY DAY to appreciate the people who love and support you, and to take note of all the good things in your life.
Focusing on the past can kill your appreciation for what you have NOW
Another challenge for Carol was her tendency to compare her current circumstances to her life from a few years ago. She’d become obsessed with the money, clients, and the lifestyle she’d lost. From her point of view, she was making no progress, and insisting that “nothing is as good as it once was.” By focusing on how much revenue she used to bring in at her old job, she failed to notice the 12% growth she’d accomplished with her new business venture in only one year. Longing for the 3-week vacations she used to take, she failed to appreciate the 4-day weekend she recently had with her family. Focusing on the fact that she used to run 5 miles every day, she failed to marvel at the fact that she’d walked a whole mile that very morning, unassisted, which was father than she’d been able to walk for 6 months. Using the past to gauge the merits and achievements of her life was blocking her ability to see the growth in her new business and appreciate her current accomplishments.
Tip: Don’t be bitter, be better: focusing on how things used to be is not productive. Focus on appreciating the things you have NOW, and direct your efforts toward making your present situation better.
Easier said than done!
After several coaching sessions with me, taking a few mind-body classes and seeing a counselor, Carol shifted her focus, and pulled herself out of the frustrated funk and is now living in a more present time mindset. This kind of transformation takes a lot of practice, and a willingness to examine and change the way you think.
If you are intrigued by what I’m describing here, I encourage you to integrate a present time mindset into your daily interactions; you can begin with short windows of time throughout your day.
Here are a few things that are currently helping Carol.
Breathing: One of the easiest things you can do to be in the present moment is to be mindful of your breathing. Try it. As you are read this, deliberately breathe in deeply through your nose, slowly filling your lungs. Then S-L-O-W-L-Y exhale through your mouth until you feel it necessary to inhale again. Do this five times.
What happened when you took those breaths? Your blood pressure dropped, you probably became more aware of the pressure in your lungs and the sound of your breath, and perhaps you even gained a heightened awareness of things around you such as clocks ticking or voices down the hall. This is a simple way of changing your focus from whatever is going on in your head to whatever is going on around (and within) you right now.
Part of embracing a present time mindset involves enhancing your ability to take things in through your 5 senses in real time. It also involves appreciating what you do have, and NOT focusing on things you’ve lost or things you don’t have or things far off in the future. Again, the desire to improve your current situation can be motivating, but it’s important to hone that motivation by also focusing on gratitude, and taking note of the opportunities that are right in front of you.
Here are some questions to help you get started:
- What are some ways that being in a present time mindset could be of benefit when sitting across from a potential new client?
- What are some ways your client could benefit from your being in this mindset?
- How could a present time mindset be useful next time you find yourself having a bad day?
- How could a present time mindset be useful in interacting with your spouse the next time he or she is having a bad day?
- How could a present time mindset benefit your experience of being on vacation with your family?
What if you started finding ways to appreciate your past, while embracing your present, and keeping a watchful eye on the future? How might that help you perform better at your job and have a better life overall?
So what are you waiting for? There’s no time like the present!
