What if there was a way to strengthen willpower just like any other muscle? Would you do it? Let’s look at a day filled with some willpower challenges, so you can see first-hand why flexing this muscle will serve you well.
You make yourself get out of bed when you feel like crap and go for a walk at 5:30 a.m. When you get back, you really crave that custard-filled doughnut but settle for that balanced breakfast before you rush out the door. Then during your 3:00 p.m. meeting, you put on your best smile in a feat of amazing perseverance while your boss rolls out yet another plan that you don’t think is a good idea. When you come home, you’re exhausted. But you fight the urge to sit down and stare at the blank abyss of a television screen. Instead, you grab your calculator and lug your near lifeless body up the stairs to help your daughter with her math homework. (I’m exhausted just writing this stuff… but you get the picture of how you can drain your willpower throughout the day.)
Instead of that continuous leak of energy and willpower, the idea is to replenish or at least slow down the drain by building up your willpower endurance much like an athlete would train their muscles. You approach this like you would train for an event. Let’s say Alex jogs a little on the weekends and wants to start training for a 50K endurance run. (I know, crazy right!?) It wouldn’t be smart for Alex to “just start running until she can’t run anymore.” Instead, Alex should start off jogging a little more than she usually does and each week increase her distance by about 10% for her long runs. Willpower training is very similar. Here are a few simple ways to slowly build that “muscle” up.
The “ I won’ts and the “I wills”:
Start with the two or three “I won’ts.” These are a few willpower items that you “won’t” do. These items should be simple in nature and they shouldn’t exact a huge toll on your willpower. However, they will require you to consciously think about them during the day.
Examples:
I won’t slouch when I type today.
I won’t open doors with my dominate hand.
I won’t swear today (this might be harder for some, well, it’s at least hard for me).
The next step is to look at a couple of easy “I wills.”
Examples:
I will call my mother today.
I will take five minutes to walk around the building.
I will go into my closet and throw out (or donate) one item I no longer use.
These aren’t earth shattering tasks; they’re actually easy to do. But these acts seem pretty random and stupid or are they? These simple acts of willpower train your brain to stop and think when you otherwise wouldn’t.
The research shows it effectively helps with your ability to make a conscious decision instead of relying on impulse to either do or not do something. That, by nature, is what you need to do when you draw on willpower right? Once you mastered the easy stuff, ramp up your progress by linking your “I wills” and “I won’ts” to a particular goal such as walking five miles or slowing down your caloric intake, i.e. saying no to that bag of cookies. Maybe you have other goals like only looking at your email three times a day or balancing your checkbook.
Here are a some examples:
I won’t eat any of the Hershey kisses sitting in the candy bowl.
I won’t spend over $50.00 when I go to the store today.
I won’t look at Facebook today.
I will take the stairs instead of the elevator.
I will close my door at work.
I will only look at my email at 9:00, 12:00 and 3:30.
Whatever it is, train your willpower like you would any other muscle. Start simple, start easy and gradually work toward the goals you want by adding stronger and more meaningful “I wills and I won’ts” What you will notice is, just like exercise can help you feel better physically and mentally, willpower can do the same thing. If you really want to give your willpower an extra shot in the arm include a good night’s sleep, a healthy diet, active exercise and some mindful meditation. All of it will strengthen your willpower muscle.
To learn more about this and get some other great ideas and ways to improve your willpower, check out “The Willpower Instinct” by Kelly McGonigal.
