Remember when a phone was something jacked into a wall? You picked it up and sound would come through one end and you spoke into the other? How perfect, how quaint, how…primitive!
Now it’s a tool for email, text, streaming videos, photos, and more. With everything your device can do now, it’s hard to put the damn thing down. Why is that? Did you know you have a legitimate addiction? It’s the addiction to the anticipation of something cool happening and you don’t want to miss anything cool now do you? You know stuff like the email from that friend, the score of the game, the funny YouTube video, or maybe it’s Cameron finally returning your text. It all has the possibility of being cool, fun or entertaining. Sometimes that addiction can cause legitimate anxiety because you just have to be “in the know” and not knowing is killing you.
The addiction is caused by a little squirt of dopamine every time you check your phone or hear that ding. (Actually I could go into the science of how dopamine is released in your brain, but I’ll save that for another time.) So why should you care if you have a smart phone addiction? Research indicates that the digital addiction can cause our brain to be stressed and overwhelmed. There is data to support “digital cocooning” or the withdrawal from the “real world” as we focus more on the virtual. There are countless other issues that new studies are starting to document; and the news isn’t positive.
Now I’m not suggesting you chuck your smart phone altogether, but I am suggesting that a unhealthy reliance on it is not going to give you the life you want in the long run. Being tethered to your phone in anxious anticipation of the next thing is not an obsession that will serve your best interests, although it feels good in the moment.
So let’s review five simple steps to wean yourself off your phone addiction.
1) Build awareness. By now you probably check your phone so frequently that you don’t even notice. For two consecutive days this week have a little 3 x 5 note card handy. Every time you get the urge to check your phone put a little mark on your note card. At the end of the two days, count up the marks. It will be more than you think.
2) Notice what’s going on in your head. Take note of your emotional state BEFORE you check your phone and then AFTER you check your phone. In other words, are you calm when you get the urge or are you feeling anxious or excited? After you check it, do you feel relief or compelled to do something else?
3) Set boundaries and commit. Set boundaries for yourself like “I will only check my phone on the hour.” Don’t deviate, commit to it. If you catch yourself checking your phone outside of your commitment, don’t say, “Oh what the hell” and fall of the wagon. Get back up on that horse and stick to your commitment.
4) Make it easier on yourself. Turn off the ringer and the vibrate function, while you’re at it – just turn it off all together.
5) Get some help. After you have taken the commitment plunge and decided to wean yourself off of the smart phone juice, ask someone to help you. Share your plan and give them permission to point out when you are looking at your phone outside your commitment. (Note significant others are sometimes all too eager to “help.” Remind them the “I told you so dance” is not helping.)
For people that don’t have this unique issue, they don’t realize how hard this habit is to change. Trust me, its HARD! Not impossible though, committing to having freedom from the phone can be liberating. If you get the “urge” replace looking at your phone with something else like; taking a big stretch, reading a short article, taking a walk outside your office, petting your dog, watering your plants, opening a window, taking a sip of coffee, or telling a joke. Regardless that urge will get the same thing your phone was giving you, the anticipation of something cool that is about to happen.
