I was struggling to figure out what to write on Sunday. It wasn’t for lack of topics; it had more to do with being distracted. My wife and I had gotten into a few serious conversations including what schools my daughter should attend, why I was feeling down in the mouth about a decision my little brother had made, and anxiety about my father and when he may or may not retire. I just became overwhelmed and aggravated about some of the things happening in my family.
What if this happens… what if that does? How are we going to pay for this, how are we going accommodate for that? At the end of the evening, after both my wife and daughter went to bed, I was racked with stress. I wanted to clear my head so I sent a text to a buddy of mine. What happened next blew me away.
I hadn’t heard from him in a while and I wanted to reconnect so I shot out a quick text. What I got back was not what I had expected. It started off with a huge apology for him being out of touch and that he felt like a horrible friend. He further shared with me that his house was in foreclosure and they were struggling to pack up their house in the 30-day window they were given before they had to get out. To make matters worse, they didn’t have a place to go. He was extremely depressed and freaking out a bit. And he signed off with “At least I have my family, I’m grateful for that.”
“Holy sh*t” was the first thing that came to my mind as I stared at my phone. Here is a guy with a stay-at-home wife, two kids, a ridiculously nice house, a great career, and now…it was falling apart. My own troubles seem to drift to the background for a moment as my friend’s shot front and center. I had known him since I was 16 years old. He had owned a successful business, received numerous awards, and always was well respected in professional and social circles. How did this happen?
“Holy sh*t” came thundering in my head again. I scrambled to give him names of realtors, lawyers, and any other person I thought could potentially help him. I felt helpless and I was wracking my brain on what I could do. I was numb after the multiple text exchanges. I went to the fridge, poured myself a cold beer, and scratched my head. Then it dawned on me…that last line in his text, “At least I have my family. “ Here I was a few minutes before wondering how my family was shaving years off of my life all because of needles worry I was heaping on MYSELF, and this person is using his family as the one and only life line he has! I felt like a total jerk.
It’s easy to caught up in “whoa is me” funk and lose perspective. A self-induced funk can have a powerful ability to blind you from all of the good things in your life if you allow it. Sometimes it’s caused out of the habit of self pity, sensing you are out of control when you really aren’t, or making yourself miserable when you simply don’t need to.
When I looked hard, I was the cause of my funk, not someone else. However, sometimes it’s something that comes out of the blue and is beyond your control. It may even train wreck your day or even your life (like my friend). This whole recent experience reminded me of a simple exercise that can be helpful from time to time. If you really think your life is screwed up, take a moment to look around you. There is always someone out there who has it worse than you. If you really pay attention, those same people sometimes handle it with grace. If you are willing to take note, their example can make you a better person in the process.
