There is no doubt that an active practice of gratitude makes us happy. Research even supports this. At this time of year, we’re bombarded with lists that remind us to embrace more gratitude. I’ve perused a couple of “top 10 ways” and some of the common items include keeping a gratitude journal, being thankful for the little things and volunteering.
Sure, these simple gratitude lists will make us feel better about ourselves and our condition in life, but isn’t there more? I ran across a study done at the University of California (Riverside) by Professor Sonja Lyobomirsky with college students on the subject of gratitude. The students listed what they were most thankful for and guess what was ranked #1. It was “mom.”
Makes sense, right? Who can we rely on more than our mom to go out of her way to help us any way she can? Who is going to stay up with us in the middle of the night when we’re feeling sick or comfort us with unconditional love like mom? If you’re lucky, “dad” might make your list, but in this particular study, dads, while mentioned, didn’t crack the top 5.
So here’s my short list of a few things you can do to show gratitude…in a big way! A way that would make your momma proud.
1. Say Thanks Like You Mean It
Let’s face it, saying “thanks” is awesome, but it’s fleeting and transitory. Why not give your “thanks” some real legs? Like mom would! I’m not suggesting that you need to bake cookies, attend soccer games or PTA meetings. But perhaps you can be more “mom-like” in your expression of gratitude.
Think about someone who is really important in your life…someone who deserves a mighty heaping of your gratitude. This person should get more than a note or simple thanks; don’t you think? Figure out a way to extend the appreciation. In marketing, we often talk about “drip” campaigns where you reach out to the same group of people over and over. Why not start your very own “drip” gratitude campaign for that special someone? Look for creative ways that you can thank them and show how much you love and appreciate them in your life.
2. Write A Heartfelt Letter
This one is geared for someone who has played an important role in your life. It may be someone who is still active in your life or it’s also perfect for someone who you may not see on a regular basis any more. Perhaps it’s a teacher or mentor or an old friend who you haven’t seen in years. Write them a long letter that expresses all the things you want them to know. Don’t be afraid to be gushy and mushy…just go for it!
The key here is to be specific and genuine. Instead of saying, “You have always been a good friend,” tell them something like, “When I was struggling with getting through school and working, I remember how you cooked me that spaghetti dinner and we laughed so hard I was snorting. You knew the perfect thing to do and say when I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed. You have no idea what that meant to me, to have you in my corner and helping me through that tough time. I still think back to…”
I think of this one as my eulogy letter, not to be morbid about it, but what would you say about them at their eulogy to let others know how incredible they were. Now, don’t wait until it’s too late. Tell them now so they can know, first-hand, what a positive impact they’ve had on your life.
3. Go Deeper
A few years ago, I was walking through mid-town Atlanta. I was there for business and I was done for the day and so I had walked a few blocks to grab something to eat. As I was strolling back to my hotel, a guy on the street asked me for a buck. My immediate reaction was, “I’m being panhandled…and does this guy really need my hard-earned money more than I do?”
The short story is that I ended up walking with this very articulate man, who was down on his luck, to a restaurant where I bought him dinner. What appeared to be a quick opportunity to give a buck or ignore the plea became a very engaging conversation and a deeper connection with someone who gave me a better perspective on life.
What was even more powerful for me was that I felt like I walked away from that experience in a better space. In other words, I was the one who was grateful. So before you shrug off something that on the surface doesn’t seem appealing, perhaps you can go deeper too. Go to a place that is more genuine and real…you’ll be glad you did.
