As I was listening to Karen’s voice over the phone, I felt both her frustration and her real sense of urgency. She was responding to a question I had asked the group on the call. I wanted them to share their beliefs about time. Karen explained that she had turned 50 a couple of years ago and her belief was similar to what I’ve heard countless times before.
Karen explained, “I feel like I’m running out of time.” In other words, there isn’t enough time to do all the things that she wants to do. You see, Karen has a big vision of what she wants to accomplish with her life and she was getting stuck doing other things first that were less important, just to make it through life. On a side note, she admitted to lots of daily distractions including facebook, email and just sitting at her computer at times feeling overwhelmed or bored.
Karen’s not alone. Most people realize that there is something bigger that they want to accomplish, but they get stuck doing the day-to-day activities and think, “When I get this done, I will…” In Karen’s case, it was “When I finish school…” Followed by, “When I save up some more money…” Followed by “When I get these house projects out of the way…” There was always a list that seemed more pressing and more urgent.
Our mind has an interesting way of rationalizing the “When this is done, I will” thoughts that run through our heads. We tell ourselves that we NEED to do these other things first, because once we do, we will free ourselves of competing interests and we can focus 100% of our time on our big vision.
There are two big faults with this logic. First, by having other priorities that keep us from our vision, we are protecting ourselves from failure (usually subconsciously). Sometimes, our big vision is a bit scary. We want it really badly, but we’re not completely convinced that we can make it happen. So if we always have something else that needs to be done first, we don’t have to face our fears, be disappointed or take that risk.
Second, we usually believe that our “future” self is going to be miraculously more productive and focused than our “current” self. Hence, the thought that if we free ourselves of all these other things first, we can give our undivided attention to our important vision, is a mind-trick that the research says is quite common. The reality is that if we are unfocused today, we will likely be the same in the future. Without specific work to be more focused and disciplined, the idea that we will somehow become so in the future is a bit unrealistic.
So where does that leave us? For many, it means we are a bit like Karen. There’s something gnawing at us to do or be more, but we’re feeling stuck. We know we want to make it happen, but it doesn’t seem to be working.
There are a number of strategies I’m working with Karen on as we speak, but let me share one with you. Ask yourself a simple question, “What can I do today that will move me closer to my vision?”
Instead of sitting down tonight to watch “The Real Housewives of Timbucktoo,” how could you better spend your time? Instead of posting the latest family pic on facebook or tweeting about where you’re having lunch, how could you use that time to give clarity to your vision or take an action that gives you some forward momentum?
The fact is that there is always enough time to do the most important stuff, if only we would get out our own way. And that’s my belief!
