Why It Took My Wife 26 Years To Finish A Marathon

For over 26 years my wife was plagued by a stifling habit. When facing a lofty goal, rather than focus on the exciting aspects of achieving the challenging feat, she’d place her attention on what would prevent her from accomplishing it. This is the story of how Amanda finally overcame this mental obstacle while training to run in the Richmond Marathon.

Amanda’s toxic relationship with this mental demon first reared its ugly head in 1993 after she suffered a lower back injury. Over time, she discovered that a risk-avoiding narrative had crept into her mind—an ever-present preoccupation with the possibility of re-injuring herself when hiking, biking, skiing, weight-lifting, and running.

Fortunately, this habitual mindset began to shift for her last October while enjoying dinner with some friends. Our friend, Rebecca, a triathlete, was telling us about some endurance events she’d be competing in over the next handful of months. Amanda is an exercise physiologist by profession, and asked Rebecca about her training program, diet and exercise regimen, and self-discipline techniques. Rebecca cut Amanda’s questions short, and said, “Why don’t you run the Shamrock half-marathon with me this spring?”

Rather than responding with enthusiasm, Amanda slammed on the brakes, which has been her knee-jerk reaction to such prospects ever since the back injury. Her best experience with distance running consisted of racking up 2-3 miles at a time. How could she possibly pull off 13.1? In keeping with her habitual mindset, Amanda came up with countless reasons as to why this idea wouldn’t be viable—everything from time constraints to her foregone conclusion that her injured back would flare up if she ran for any distance beyond 3 or 4 miles.

 “I couldn’t risk injuring my back again,” she said, plainly.

Rebecca didn’t let up: “You, of all people, would know how to nurse a wonky back to full functionality. Isn’t it your job to help people return to the activities they enjoy after physical therapy?”

“Well, yes, but I couldn’t possibly afford the downtime to train, and I’d feel guilty being away from my family for so many hours a week.”

At this point I chimed in, “Amanda, you could train early in the mornings, and I’ll have Logan with me anyway. As for your clients, you know you could do a bit of juggling, if necessary.”

One by one, her reservations about training were addressed, and she realized there was no significant reason she couldn’t do this half-marathon.

Over the next five months, Amanda diligently prepared for the event—running 2 miles, 3 days a week, and slowly increasing to 6 miles, and her confidence grew stronger and stronger. Then, on a crisp March day in 2019, she did it!  She successfully conquered the Shamrock!

Needless to say, she was thrilled to be crossing the finish line, but the thing she most valued was the boost in self-confidence. In her moment of triumph, she decided she’d run in the Richmond half-marathon in the late fall.

Over the summer and into early November, Amanda trained like a workout fiend—never once deterred by bad weather. She created a daily movement program to keep her back limber, and became laser focused on improving her endurance—eventually upping her best distance from 6 miles to 9.

On Thursday morning, 48 hours before the race, Amanda and I were enjoying a cup of coffee together. Amanda noticed that something was on my mind, and she asked me about it. I looked over the rim of my cup, “Why not go for a full marathon this time around?” She admitted she’d been thinking about it as well, but her habitual (nay-saying) thought process kept kicking back in, and she rattled off a list of reasons why switching gears this late in the game wouldn’t be possible.

She saw herself as a middle distance runner—not a real marathoner—and a novice, at best. Even though she had been training hard for half the year, she wasn’t really ready for a full. As for injuring herself, she considered herself “lucky” the way everything had gone thus far—but imagined she’d be pushing by attempting to run 26.2 miles—and was convinced she’d injure herself.

I adopted a jovial tone, and said, “You’ve already completed the half, and it went well. You’ve been training for 6 months with no set-backs. How about pushing out of your comfort zone a little further? Worst case scenario—you walk a few miles of the race.

She rolled her eyes, (because she knew I was right, of course), pushed me aside, grabbed her laptop and changed her registration status. With just two days remaining before the big event, she did something previously unthinkable to her, and committed to taking on the full Richmond Marathon!

On that cold morning, there were thousands of fellow runners around her. The camaraderie and enthusiasm were amazing, and together with the encouragement of her support team (me, our daughter, Rebecca, and renowned Ironman athlete, Will Turner)—she paused for a moment to soak it all in, closed her eyes, and knew she was ready!

When the starting horn blared, the crowd roared, clamoring with bells and cheers—and the longest foot race of Amanda’s life was underway!

After battling five and a half grueling hours of high winds and bitter temperatures, she finally made it across the finish line, shedding tears of gratitude and exhaustion.

Amanda wanted to share a few personal realizations and a few tips she came away with after this journey:

• • • Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right”- Henry Ford.
      I’ve known this to be true for many years, but nothing highlights it like a difficult physical task. The immediate transfer to business is crystal clear for me because mindset is paramount to success in pretty much anything. A will-do (not a can’t do) attitude goes a long way toward accomplishing any goal.

• • • Find your tribe. A little support goes a long way. I could not have finished a marathon without my support system. Surround yourself with positive people who will encourage you when the going gets tough, and celebrate even the smallest milestones with you. Stay away from people who bring you down. Your tribe will fuel your persistence and keep you moving forward.

• • • Get some momentum and eventually go big. Set a goal to do something that scares you a little. After you accomplish it. Realize you did it once and you can do it again only this time raise the bar a little higher. Over time you will revel in your progressive improvement. But, if you endeavor to accomplish truly amazing shit—eventually you have to make the leap and go big!

When faced with a challenging endeavor, is your first impulse to get excited about the possibilities, or to immediately focus on all the things that could get in the way of achieving that goal?

The habit of identifying obstacles can be useful when assessing the practicality and viability of big dreams. However, to make NOT-LOSING your primary focus is a sure-fire recipe for instant paralysis! You can pretty much count on this default mindset to keep you nestled into your ever-familiar Comfort Zone, (otherwise known as Stuck Right Where You Are).

If you aspire to accomplish bolder goals, make it a habit to confront your knee-jerk rationalizations for saying no—(your reasons “WHY-NOT”). Only then can you harness the focus, intention, and energy required for taking the steps that go hand in hand with playing to win!