In four days, I will compete in my third Ironman. I will be humbled. I will be challenged. And I will struggle. That is all part of the journey. But that is why I do this.
Most people don’t understand why someone would willingly choose to swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles and run 26.2 miles in one day. And I have to admit, it is hard to put into words what makes people do it. I think each racer on Sunday has his or her own story.
My story started about six years ago. I was approaching my 50th birthday and quite frankly, I wasn’t thrilled about it. Where had the time gone? How could it be that I was middle-aged already, now facing the back-side of life as we know it?
With time and reflection, I realized that my first Ironman was about feeding my ego. I wish it was more noble than that, but that is the truth. I was out to prove to myself and everyone else that I could do this. I needed confirmation that I was still young and vital enough to make it through one of the most grueling competitions on earth.
But a curious thing happened that I wasn’t expecting at all. In my pursuit of feeding my ego, I actually ended up nurturing my soul. My story is too long to share all the details, but let me share a bit to better explain.
It was March, 2009 when I completed my first Ironman in New Zealand. As I was training in Virginia throughout the winter months leading up to the event, it felt like a pretty solitary experience. While I hired a great coach to put together my training plan and provide virtual feedback and support, I didn’t know any other athletes training for an Ironman at the time; and certainly not in the cold weather months on the east coast, which is typically the off-season for triathletes.
I recall one particular workout in the dead of winter. I ran 22.5 miles in 28 degree weather. To make matters worse, I got soaked by freezing rain in the first 6 miles of the run. By the time I finished, my hands and feet were so numb they ached and throbbed. As they slowly thawed, it felt like they were on fire (literally). The pain was excruciating, but I gritted through it like I did countless workouts rain or shine.
I was obsessed with my training and embraced my first Ironman quest with never-say-never-gut-through-it mentality. I was comfortable in my solitary journey and in many ways I embraced it as a testament to being committed to my goal.
What happened when I arrived in New Zealand the week before the race caught me totally off-guard. Here’s a blog post I made at the time:
I just came back to my motel room in Taupo, NZ and was checking my email. And I didn’t expect what happened next. I had an email from my coach, Michael Harlow at Endorphin Fitness, and I started getting teary-eyed and choked up (and he was just forwarding some info to me). But I started thinking how far I’ve come with his coaching and how he has pushed me beyond what I thought I was capable of…and made me stronger in the process.
Then, I started reading some personal emails, as well as comments that many of you have made on this blog. I became emotionally overwhelmed by all the support and encouragement. In fact, tears are streaming down my face as I type this. I am so appreciative and at a loss of words for what your support means to me.
Obviously, preparing for and completing the NZ Ironman is the biggest physical challenge I have faced in my life. It has been a year of very hard and intense training to get here. My body and mind have been stretched in new and exciting ways.
At the same time, I’ve had my own demons to fight. Certainly, there have been times when I questioned if I could do it. And if I was crazy like everyone says (and I guess I have to be). I’ve also been battling some leg injuries lately and dealing with the anxiety of “will I be ok on race day?”
And then I read your comments and know how many people are cheering me on. Not just my closest friends, but so many people who know me who have reconnected and said, “Will, we know you can do it!” What a gift you have given me. I am so humbled and blessed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
A day or two later, I received the following note from my daughter:
I ran across this quote and it reminded me of you…
“Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.”
You are too strong to let doubt slow you down…I am very proud of you!!
I love you Dad
Well, suddenly my solitary experience didn’t seem so solitary. I had an amazing group of people cheering me on, sending me love and positive thoughts.
I took my feeling of overwhelming gratitude into the race. I rode by aid stations and yelled “thank you” to the volunteers, not once but throughout the day. Ditto for the countless volunteers on the run course, along with the enthusiastic spectators, race organizers and police on duty. I realized that they were all out there to help me make my dream come true. They didn’t know me, but they were there cheering me on just the same. I was high as a kite with appreciation. I shared it and reveled in it all day.
It was the outpouring of others that lifted and humbled me and helped me realize that it wasn’t all about me at all. My ego was not what was important here. I had embraced gratitude, and in so doing, I realized that I had so much more to give others. The possibilities were endless.
To put it succinctly, the experience of my first Ironman transformed me. I came back to the states a different man than when I left. Not just for the reasons noted above, but for many other revelations that occurred on my trip. I have traveled down new and exciting paths in the past five years that I am certain would not have been there for me had I not started this journey. I look at the world differently, I embrace change differently and I live differently. Most importantly, I look to make a difference in bigger and bolder ways.
So as I prepare for my race on Sunday, I am excited. I know that once again I will grow, I will change and I will be different from the experience. I will reveal more of myself. I will uncover deeper truths. I will discover new paths. And I will feel gratitude beyond measure.
I am ready.
